Inaction Is a Decision

I was sitting in my group mentorship call a few weeks ago and noticed something.

Three coaches. Three completely different situations. Three completely different reasons they weren't moving forward. But underneath all of it, the same thing was happening.

One was obsessing over his lighting setup before he'd filmed a single video. One had a full content calendar planned but hadn't posted for two weeks. One knew exactly who to email for referrals, but hadn’t clicked send.

None of them were lazy. All of them were stuck. And none of them realized that their inaction was actually a decision and not just the avoidance of one.

If I have one skill, above all else, I am a master at the reframe. If you’ve been reading these for any length of time, you’ll know that intimately because I just don’t look at problems the same way other people do. So, at the risk of sounding like AI slop text, “here is the reframe!” →

Inaction feels passive. It feels like the absence of doing something. But it's not. Every day you don't post, you're choosing not to post. Every week you don't make those calls, you're choosing not to make them. The inaction has a cost, and that cost compounds the same way action does.

I've been there. Early on, I'd spend hours thinking about what I was going to write before I wrote a single word. I'd rehearse conversations in my head instead of having them. I'd tell myself I was preparing when I was really just avoiding the discomfort of putting something out and having it land badly. Or not land at all. The fear of a quiet room after you've said something is real. So you just... don't say it. Full disclosure, I still deal with this. Even 20 years into the game, with a mountain of evidence that what I say has value, I still second-guess myself.

The problem is you can dress that up a hundred different ways. Perfectionism. Preparation. Strategy. Research. Most of it is the same thing, wearing a different jacket. Just for the love of God, don’t adopt this as your identity. If I hear one more person who’s never done anything noteworthy tell me, “I’m a perfectionist” again… BROTHER, you have to actually produce something to be a perfectionist! I digress…

What I've learned, and have had to keep relearning, is that the discomfort you're avoiding by not acting doesn't disappear. It just changes shape. You trade the short-term discomfort of doing something imperfect for the long-term discomfort of watching nothing change. One of those costs is temporary. The other one accumulates.

If you want to break through and do it fast, you don’t have to be the most talented or the best prepared. You just have to be willing to do the uncomfortable thing before you feel ready. Post the video with the average lighting. Send the email that might get ignored. Ask for the referral without knowing if it will be given. And then do it again, but better because now you have data about the outcomes rather than the assumptions that live in between your ears.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever thought about this either, because it’s something I’ve been noodling on lately. When it comes to consistent action: it builds a different kind of confidence than preparation does. Preparation gives you confidence that you know what you're doing. Action gives you confidence that you can handle things. Those are not the same. And in this business, the second one matters a lot more, especially long term.

The question worth sitting with isn't "why haven't I done this yet?" That question usually leads to better excuses. The more useful question is, “what am I actually protecting myself from by not doing it?” Get specific, and once you can name it, you can decide whether that thing you're protecting yourself from is actually as dangerous as it feels. Usually it isn't.

What's the one thing you've been calling "not ready yet" that's really just waiting for you to decide? I want to hear from you!

Keep Raising the Bar,

Paul Oneid MS, MS, CSCS